Random Reviews
Superman: Speeding Bullets
There are plenty of Elseworlds that examine how things could have turned out if someone else found Supermans' rocket- he could have become a Communist dictator, a medieval knight, or even a pawn of Darkseid. This is just one of them.
Introduction
They're almost as old as comics themselves- Superman and Batman. The World's Finest. The Man of Steel and The Dark Knight. The Last Son of Krypton and The World's Greatest Detective. Sometimes they throw Robin in to the mix, sometimes you can group them with Wonder Woman and get the Trinity, but in the end it all comes back to Superman and Batman. They're more than heroes- they're symbols, they're iconic. Total opposites that together form the most formidable team that the world has ever seen- the dark, brooding powerless antihero who can take on the world with nothing but his wits and his skills, and the kind farm boy who uses his unearthly power to defend the world that adopted a him as one of it's own. The pinnacle of human achievement and the strange visitor from another world who adopted humanity as his people.
Needless to say Superman and Batman have a lot of Elseworlds written about them; some about them individually, some about them as a pair, some where one is a guest star in the others' story, and one where they are the same man.
Today we look at the Elseworlds that dared to dream the impossible dream, the story that looked into the hearts of comic fans everywhere and made their wish come true, the story that answered the question: "What if Superman was Batman?". From the mind of J.M. DeMatteis, Superman: Speeding Bullets.
I didn't talk about the cover last time but I think I should give it a quick look. The first thing I should point out, and which you've already noticed, is that although this comic has Superman's name on it, Batman is on the cover, that's because while this is technically a Superman story, he's Batman for most of the book. The second thing you'll notice is that it's a copy of the famous "Superman #1" cover from 1939, showing Batman leaping into the air over the city, I guess it was that or Batman lifting a car over his head.
Needless to say Superman and Batman have a lot of Elseworlds written about them; some about them individually, some about them as a pair, some where one is a guest star in the others' story, and one where they are the same man.
Today we look at the Elseworlds that dared to dream the impossible dream, the story that looked into the hearts of comic fans everywhere and made their wish come true, the story that answered the question: "What if Superman was Batman?". From the mind of J.M. DeMatteis, Superman: Speeding Bullets.
Cover
I didn't talk about the cover last time but I think I should give it a quick look. The first thing I should point out, and which you've already noticed, is that although this comic has Superman's name on it, Batman is on the cover, that's because while this is technically a Superman story, he's Batman for most of the book. The second thing you'll notice is that it's a copy of the famous "Superman #1" cover from 1939, showing Batman leaping into the air over the city, I guess it was that or Batman lifting a car over his head.
Finally, we'll discuss the Batman costume- it's actually pretty sinister looking, which makes sense in the context of the comic as we'll see. Instead of the classic cowl he's got a full face mask, the spikes on his forearms are more pronounced, and there's some Nolan-esque armoring on the suit (it's more noticeable in the comic), which is a bit weird because, well- invulnerable. And, of course, the Bat-logo is shaped like an S-shield, which makes a certain kind of sense but looks a little silly at first. Overall though, I actually like the Batman suit- it looks pretty cool and it's a good example of an Elseworlds costume- similar enough to carry all the weight of the "regular" character but different enough to make it clear that it's another person in another setting.
Plot
The comic opens with baby Kal-Els' ship flying away from an exploding Krypton, while narration captions muse on how differently things could have turned out depending on who found the rocket, before leading in to the "only one way it could have happened"- baby Kal-El crash landing in front of Thomas and Martha Wayne's car, they adopt him and name him Bruce. As a side note, in Superman/Batman #50, it's revealed that Jor-El sent out probes to various planets to decide where to send his son, the probe sent to Earth was discovered by Thomas Wayne, who promised Jor-El that if he ever found Kal, he would raise him as his own.
We follow Bruce through his childhood, his mother lavishes him with love and his father teaches him that violence is never the answer, and that Bruce must aspire to higher ideals. Bruce is homeschooled and the family mostly keeps to themselves in Wayne Manor, since- y'know- their son is an alien and they'd rather not draw attention to him. However, once a month Bruce and his parents go on a family evening into Gotham City- get some dinner, catch an old Zorro movie maybe. You know where this is going.
As they leave the cinema, the Waynes meet Joe Chill who steals Martha Wayne's pearls and guns them both down, the blood splattering on Bruce's face. Chill shoots Bruce as well but naturally the bullets do nothing. Bruce- severely traumatised- blasts the guy in the face with his heat vision thereby killing him, and is left weeping next to his parent's bodies. That's... pretty dark actually.
Bruce grows up as a crazy shut-in, hiding inside his mansion from the world and repressing knowledge of his powers due to his guilt and shame for not saving his parents when he could easily have done. He's also got an entire room literally wallpapered with news clippings of violent stories, which he uses to try to ignore his super-hearing. You know how Batman is driven to fight injustice and punish evil wherever he finds it? Well imagine just how much more messed up he would be if he could see and hear the entire world. Yeah, we're not dealing with a stable individual here, is what I'm trying to get across.
A gang of thugs break into Wayne Manor and hold Alfred hostage. Bruce flashbacks to "The Night" and snaps, attacking them in a psychotic rage. Bruce fights them off and in doing so breaks through the mental block on his powers, being briefly struck down by the realisation that he could have saved his parents, and the guilt at taking a life with his godlike inhuman laser eyes. The thugs escape while all this is going on and Alfred takes Bruce down to the caves under the mansion to show him his spaceship. Bruce decides it's time to stop hiding and to use his power to strike back. The thugs meet with their boss, who kills them for failing to scare Bruce further into hiding.
Jump forward two months, and the police are in a shoot-out with a rooftop sniper. Batman arrives, hurls the guy off the roof, then catches him and drops him into the arms of a SWAT trooper, before flying off highlighted against the moon. The next day Lex Luthor (who we learn suffered a terrible accident in a chemical factory explosion one year ago), is in the process of buying Wayne Enterprises to add to LexCorps' new Gotham division when Bruce walks in and, in a display of calm badassery; shuts down the deal, fires the lawyers that arranged it behind his back and coolly tells Luthor exactly where he can get off.
Bruce buys the Gotham Gazette and takes over as publisher to use as a way to expose the corruption and crime in Gotham, staffing it with star reporters from all over the country, including from the Daily Planet, which Luthor has bought and turned into his speaking box. We meet Perry White and our narrator Lois Lane, the mere sight of whom causes Bruce to break down into Clark Kent-esque stammerings and lose all voluntary motor control, which in a bit of a twist, Lois finds kind of cute.
A few weeks later, as she's leaving work whilst wearing a miniskirt in the snow, Lois is picked up by Luthor in his limo- which she goes along with to try to dig up any dirt on him- while Batman watches from the rooftop. You could make a case that he's tracking Luthor, but I'm a little disturbed by the implication that he's using his powers to stalk his attractive female subordinate. In the limo Lex claims that his near death experience has changed him and he tries to feel her up. Naturally she doesn't stand for it and he throws her out on the side of the road, where a gang of implied rapists surround her. Batman shoots down from the sky and just wails on them with his powers, shattering bones and using his signature "Heat Vision To The Face" move.
I should mention that in Superman/Batman #53-56, Superman's powers are temporarily transferred into Batman, and within about a week in-universe went completely off the handle, almost killing several people, including Nightwing.
Naturally Lois finds this downright terrifying, calling him a "Dangerous, psychopathic animal" and refuses his help, as you would if you saw a superhuman maniac tear apart a group of people and threaten to kill one by putting his finger through the guy's head. She goes back to the office and writes an article condemning Batman and his methods for using his power to simply create more violence rather than helping people. This comic came out at the height of the Dark Age Of Comics, and I feel like J.M. DeMatteis is trying to tell us something. Bruce shows up in her office and Lois tells him that she hates Batman for his actions, but admires him for using his wealth and power to help people and try to change things for the better- in this universe Lois loves the man, not his alter-ego.
Weeks later, the Gazette is preparing to put out a story accusing Luthor of massive criminal dealings, and Batman has been working overtime to take out his underlings. Lex shows up in Bruce's office in a purple and green suit, ripping off his mask to reveal...
It keeps coming back to the Superman/Batman comic. Long story short- #60 and 61 the World's Finest find themselves in a "Mash-up" world where the city of "Gothamopolis" is patrolled by the "Justice Titans", and the world's worst villain is "Lex Joker"- a lot of stuff happens in that series and most of it's pretty weird.
Anyway Lex pushes Bruce out of the window and kidnaps Lois, flying away with his propellor backpack- I like it, it's Silver Age-y. Lex reveals that he was disfigured in the factory explosion, and went insane, deciding it was time to drop the persona of a benevolent businessman and embrace the darkness within. He's decided to conquer Gotham and rule it as his kingdom. Batman arrives to rescue Lois, only to discover that Joker, completely out of his gourd by this point, has unleashed a mercenary army on Gotham, killing thousands in the first volley.
Batman throws the bald bastard at the ground but saves him at the last second when Lois tells him that, no matter what he thinks, she knows that he's better than that. Batman flies Joker to jail then fights off the mercenaries, in a much less brutal manner than before. Remember ladies, if your man is a psychotic rage-monster, you can change him with your love.
That night, Lois is still at the top of the skyscraper Joker left her on, and Batman flies down to her. She tells him that he proved that he has the potential to be more than he is- by fighting off the mercenaries he was defending the innocent, not just punishing the guilty. That he could be an example to everyone, a symbol of hope. But Batman answers that he doesn't have it in him to be that. She takes of his mask and tells him that Batman doesn't, but Bruce Wayne does.
The story ends with Lois once again reflecting that there was "only one way it could have happened, only one series of events that could have given us..."
Before we finish, I should say that the Superman costume is pretty good, but it could use some more red, and I'm not so wild about the design of the half-face mask they've got going.
It's not a perfect story by any means but it works most of the time, both as a superhero story, and the tale of one man's journey towards redemption for his past mistakes and conquering his inner darkness. There's a couple of moments that seem a little out of place, the ending feels a bit rushed, and I wouldn't have written Bruce quite as messed up as they do here, but those are minor nitpicks at best. It does a pretty good job of blending the two character's mythologies more or less evenly while still feeling like a distinct story and characters separate from the source material.
I'd actually like to see more stories set in this comic's world- where was Commissioner Gordon? Are Dick Grayson and Barbara Gordon going to be Superboy and Supergirl? If so, how would they manage that? Is Lana Lang going to be Catwoman? How would the JLA and the DCU look as a whole with the world like this? Is Wally West a Green Lantern?
Obviously I'm just getting overexcited, this comic is twenty years old and if they haven't built up the world any more than they did here, they're not going to do it post-reboot.
Overall, no-one's going to mistake this for Watchmen any time soon, it's not the kind of thing that changes the face of comics forever, but it's a solid enough comic, and, while a good concept does not automatically mean a good story- it's Superman as Batman, it's very hard to mess that up. They did well with the premise they had and while it could be better, what we got is still pretty okay.
Final analysis- 3/5, worth a look.
 |
| Hey dude, when this is over what do you say we ditch the kids and go star in our own comic? |
We follow Bruce through his childhood, his mother lavishes him with love and his father teaches him that violence is never the answer, and that Bruce must aspire to higher ideals. Bruce is homeschooled and the family mostly keeps to themselves in Wayne Manor, since- y'know- their son is an alien and they'd rather not draw attention to him. However, once a month Bruce and his parents go on a family evening into Gotham City- get some dinner, catch an old Zorro movie maybe. You know where this is going.
As they leave the cinema, the Waynes meet Joe Chill who steals Martha Wayne's pearls and guns them both down, the blood splattering on Bruce's face. Chill shoots Bruce as well but naturally the bullets do nothing. Bruce- severely traumatised- blasts the guy in the face with his heat vision thereby killing him, and is left weeping next to his parent's bodies. That's... pretty dark actually.
Bruce grows up as a crazy shut-in, hiding inside his mansion from the world and repressing knowledge of his powers due to his guilt and shame for not saving his parents when he could easily have done. He's also got an entire room literally wallpapered with news clippings of violent stories, which he uses to try to ignore his super-hearing. You know how Batman is driven to fight injustice and punish evil wherever he finds it? Well imagine just how much more messed up he would be if he could see and hear the entire world. Yeah, we're not dealing with a stable individual here, is what I'm trying to get across.
 |
| Paging Doctor Arkham |
 |
| Gee, I wonder who this could be |
Jump forward two months, and the police are in a shoot-out with a rooftop sniper. Batman arrives, hurls the guy off the roof, then catches him and drops him into the arms of a SWAT trooper, before flying off highlighted against the moon. The next day Lex Luthor (who we learn suffered a terrible accident in a chemical factory explosion one year ago), is in the process of buying Wayne Enterprises to add to LexCorps' new Gotham division when Bruce walks in and, in a display of calm badassery; shuts down the deal, fires the lawyers that arranged it behind his back and coolly tells Luthor exactly where he can get off.
Bruce buys the Gotham Gazette and takes over as publisher to use as a way to expose the corruption and crime in Gotham, staffing it with star reporters from all over the country, including from the Daily Planet, which Luthor has bought and turned into his speaking box. We meet Perry White and our narrator Lois Lane, the mere sight of whom causes Bruce to break down into Clark Kent-esque stammerings and lose all voluntary motor control, which in a bit of a twist, Lois finds kind of cute.
 |
| Pretty female... all blood rushing to reproductive organs... brain... no... worky |
A few weeks later, as she's leaving work whilst wearing a miniskirt in the snow, Lois is picked up by Luthor in his limo- which she goes along with to try to dig up any dirt on him- while Batman watches from the rooftop. You could make a case that he's tracking Luthor, but I'm a little disturbed by the implication that he's using his powers to stalk his attractive female subordinate. In the limo Lex claims that his near death experience has changed him and he tries to feel her up. Naturally she doesn't stand for it and he throws her out on the side of the road, where a gang of implied rapists surround her. Batman shoots down from the sky and just wails on them with his powers, shattering bones and using his signature "Heat Vision To The Face" move.
I should mention that in Superman/Batman #53-56, Superman's powers are temporarily transferred into Batman, and within about a week in-universe went completely off the handle, almost killing several people, including Nightwing.
 |
| He reached levels of Bat-crazy undreamt of since Frank Miller. |
Naturally Lois finds this downright terrifying, calling him a "Dangerous, psychopathic animal" and refuses his help, as you would if you saw a superhuman maniac tear apart a group of people and threaten to kill one by putting his finger through the guy's head. She goes back to the office and writes an article condemning Batman and his methods for using his power to simply create more violence rather than helping people. This comic came out at the height of the Dark Age Of Comics, and I feel like J.M. DeMatteis is trying to tell us something. Bruce shows up in her office and Lois tells him that she hates Batman for his actions, but admires him for using his wealth and power to help people and try to change things for the better- in this universe Lois loves the man, not his alter-ego.
 |
| Mr Wayne, I have Human Resources on line one. Something about "inappropriate conduct" |
 |
| Called it! |
It keeps coming back to the Superman/Batman comic. Long story short- #60 and 61 the World's Finest find themselves in a "Mash-up" world where the city of "Gothamopolis" is patrolled by the "Justice Titans", and the world's worst villain is "Lex Joker"- a lot of stuff happens in that series and most of it's pretty weird.
Anyway Lex pushes Bruce out of the window and kidnaps Lois, flying away with his propellor backpack- I like it, it's Silver Age-y. Lex reveals that he was disfigured in the factory explosion, and went insane, deciding it was time to drop the persona of a benevolent businessman and embrace the darkness within. He's decided to conquer Gotham and rule it as his kingdom. Batman arrives to rescue Lois, only to discover that Joker, completely out of his gourd by this point, has unleashed a mercenary army on Gotham, killing thousands in the first volley.
Batman throws the bald bastard at the ground but saves him at the last second when Lois tells him that, no matter what he thinks, she knows that he's better than that. Batman flies Joker to jail then fights off the mercenaries, in a much less brutal manner than before. Remember ladies, if your man is a psychotic rage-monster, you can change him with your love.
That night, Lois is still at the top of the skyscraper Joker left her on, and Batman flies down to her. She tells him that he proved that he has the potential to be more than he is- by fighting off the mercenaries he was defending the innocent, not just punishing the guilty. That he could be an example to everyone, a symbol of hope. But Batman answers that he doesn't have it in him to be that. She takes of his mask and tells him that Batman doesn't, but Bruce Wayne does.
The story ends with Lois once again reflecting that there was "only one way it could have happened, only one series of events that could have given us..."
Before we finish, I should say that the Superman costume is pretty good, but it could use some more red, and I'm not so wild about the design of the half-face mask they've got going.
Conclusion
It was kind of hard to write this review actually, partly because there's not a lot of comedy material avaliable (a lot of the jokes were pretty forced I admit), and partly because I actually like it. This is not the best Elseworlds story I've ever read, and certainly not the best comic I've ever read but still enjoyable.It's not a perfect story by any means but it works most of the time, both as a superhero story, and the tale of one man's journey towards redemption for his past mistakes and conquering his inner darkness. There's a couple of moments that seem a little out of place, the ending feels a bit rushed, and I wouldn't have written Bruce quite as messed up as they do here, but those are minor nitpicks at best. It does a pretty good job of blending the two character's mythologies more or less evenly while still feeling like a distinct story and characters separate from the source material.
I'd actually like to see more stories set in this comic's world- where was Commissioner Gordon? Are Dick Grayson and Barbara Gordon going to be Superboy and Supergirl? If so, how would they manage that? Is Lana Lang going to be Catwoman? How would the JLA and the DCU look as a whole with the world like this? Is Wally West a Green Lantern?
Obviously I'm just getting overexcited, this comic is twenty years old and if they haven't built up the world any more than they did here, they're not going to do it post-reboot.
Overall, no-one's going to mistake this for Watchmen any time soon, it's not the kind of thing that changes the face of comics forever, but it's a solid enough comic, and, while a good concept does not automatically mean a good story- it's Superman as Batman, it's very hard to mess that up. They did well with the premise they had and while it could be better, what we got is still pretty okay.
Final analysis- 3/5, worth a look.
Favourite Panel
I can't look at that and not laugh- he's punting a blimp! The sound effect just adds to the effect. "Pok!"
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