Stupid Things That Stupid People Believe
Double Bill
Two short posts in one!
Geocentrism
Background
Since I'm pressed for time on this one, I thought I should start with an easy target. Then I remembered the subject of my first "Stupid Beliefs" post- I'm not going to revisit the flat Earth Society, I've said all I need to say about them, but it did bring to mind a related topic. Geocentrism- the idea that the entire universe revolves around the Earth.
Unlike the Flat Earth Theory, geocentric astronomy was actually strongly believed for a long time and held on for grim death until modern science was able to beat it into the dust, mostly due to the influence of the Catholic Church, who placed Galileo under house arrest for life for daring to suggest the Earth revolved around the Sun. As a matter of principle they still don't like to admit they were wrong and would prefer everybody forgot the man ever existed, it's technically still church policy that geo- and heliocentrism are just theories that cannot be definitively proven. Gee, where have I heard that before?
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| Oh yeah |
Also like the Flat Earth theory it was basically dead until recent decades and people with exactly the right blend of stupid, crazy and too much time on their hands that the modern technological age can create appeared. There have been a few surveys carried out by scientists that I assume were between projects and trying to fill up the day, which indicate that roughly one-fifth of Americans and thirty percent of Russians believe that the Sun revolves around the Earth, but since I haven't seen the raw data that result may be skewed- for all we know they asked small children or a bunch of drunken rednecks.
How does this work?
Naturally there are several websites devoted to this insane theory. There is no official society, but there are isolated pockets of the internet that house these people. According to Wikipedia, the most notable of them is Robert Sungenis, a anti-semitic Catholic zealot that the Catholic church itself has repeatedly disavowed. There is a reason why this is a short article, because there aren't a lot of people who believe it, or at least don't believe it loudly- while 20% of America may believe the Sun revolves around the Earth, they don't get laws passed forcing that to be taught in science class is all I'm saying.
The classical geocentric model, at least according to that annotated modern english version of The Canterbury Tales my father made me read, holds that the Earth is fixed in the centre of the universe (and yes, in this model it is a globe), with the Sun, stars and planets revolving around it affixed to nine transparent spheres of increasing diameter, which all revolve at fixed, but different speeds. In all fairness, that is the way it appears- much as the world looks flat to the casual observer, it also looks fixed in space- you don't feel it rotating or orbiting the Sun.
Nowadays of course we know that the Earth is a planet in a single solar system orbiting the Sun, which in turn orbits around the galactic core. However, there are people that disagree with that fact- the modern geocentric theory was developed by Tycho Brahe- a Danish nobleman who's been dead for almost four hundred years. This theory is a mix of fantasy and reality- all planets except the Earth revolve around the Sun in elliptical orbits, like in the real world, but this solar system, and all other stars and planets, revolve around the Earth (which lies at the centre of the Universe) every 24 hours. some geocentrists however stick to the classic theory.
The problem is that there are certain passages of the Bible that, read a certain way, seem to imply that Earth is the centre of the universe. I should note that, while geocentrism is often linked to creationism, most modern creationists do at least acknowledge the shape of the solar system and try to distance themselves from these people. These are the people that creationists call irrational morons, which is like being called slightly irritating by Justin Bieber. Now, obviously, the vast majority of Christians are not idiots and I'm not trying to attack Christianity as a faith, but given that the bible was written thousands of years ago by men who tended not to have the benefits of the best possible education, it probably shouldn't be used as a scientific text. Not to mention that, given how many times the Bible has been edited and translated over the years, what resemblance say, a modern King James Bible would bear to the original gospels is debatable.
The classical geocentric model, at least according to that annotated modern english version of The Canterbury Tales my father made me read, holds that the Earth is fixed in the centre of the universe (and yes, in this model it is a globe), with the Sun, stars and planets revolving around it affixed to nine transparent spheres of increasing diameter, which all revolve at fixed, but different speeds. In all fairness, that is the way it appears- much as the world looks flat to the casual observer, it also looks fixed in space- you don't feel it rotating or orbiting the Sun.
Nowadays of course we know that the Earth is a planet in a single solar system orbiting the Sun, which in turn orbits around the galactic core. However, there are people that disagree with that fact- the modern geocentric theory was developed by Tycho Brahe- a Danish nobleman who's been dead for almost four hundred years. This theory is a mix of fantasy and reality- all planets except the Earth revolve around the Sun in elliptical orbits, like in the real world, but this solar system, and all other stars and planets, revolve around the Earth (which lies at the centre of the Universe) every 24 hours. some geocentrists however stick to the classic theory.
The problem is that there are certain passages of the Bible that, read a certain way, seem to imply that Earth is the centre of the universe. I should note that, while geocentrism is often linked to creationism, most modern creationists do at least acknowledge the shape of the solar system and try to distance themselves from these people. These are the people that creationists call irrational morons, which is like being called slightly irritating by Justin Bieber. Now, obviously, the vast majority of Christians are not idiots and I'm not trying to attack Christianity as a faith, but given that the bible was written thousands of years ago by men who tended not to have the benefits of the best possible education, it probably shouldn't be used as a scientific text. Not to mention that, given how many times the Bible has been edited and translated over the years, what resemblance say, a modern King James Bible would bear to the original gospels is debatable.
Conclusion
We all know the Earth revolves around the Sun, regardless of how certain people may interpret the Bible. I really don't know why I have a conclusion section for these actually, so I'll leave you with a number of Bible quotes I've found on the internet that geocentrists like to bandy around.
- Psalms 50:1- The mighty God, even the Lord, hath spoken, and called the earth from the rising of the sun unto the going down thereof- the Sun rotates around the Earth
- Samuel 2:8- For the pillars of the earth are the Lord’s, and on them he has set the world- The Earth is fixed in space
- Revelation 6:13- and the stars of the sky fell to earth as the fig tree sheds its winter fruit when shaken by a gale- stars are points of light fixed in the sky that can fall or be torn down with enough force
Fairies
Background
Look at this for a moment:
This is one of the Cottingley Fairies photographs taken by Elsie Wright and Frances Griffiths in 1917 of fairies they claimed to have met in their garden. In reality of course, they were entirely fake- the two girls literally just traced pictures of fairies from a storybook onto cardboard, propped them up with pins and took pictures of them. Today they are recognised as one of the great historical hoaxes, but back then a lot of people believed, including Sir Arthur Conan Doyle- the creator of Sherlock Holmes, for the record he also believed in psychics, ghosts and that Harry Houdini possessed actual magic powers despite Houdini repeatedly telling him otherwise.
Later in their life, when the girls finally admitted the pictures were fakes, they claimed they only created them for fun and the whole thing spiralled out of control when Conan Doyle became involved. They also maintained to their deathbeds that they had actually seen real fairies when they were children, which means they were either really devoted to the bit, trying to salvage some credibility, or were true believers.
The little people, the wee folk, elves, changelings, pixies, brownies and goblins. Every culture has had legends of magical beings that exist in a world within our own, but the modern view of fairies seems to have evolved from European folklore. Back then they were angels banished to Earth for staying neutral during Satan's rebellion and a lot more malicious that they are today- you'd be amazed how many folk tales involve them abducting people. As time went on, however, they became more benign until they became the tooth-collecting, wish-granting nature spirits they are today.
Now, when I say that there are people who believe in fairies, your mind automatically goes to small children. How about a grown woman with a PhD?
The little people, the wee folk, elves, changelings, pixies, brownies and goblins. Every culture has had legends of magical beings that exist in a world within our own, but the modern view of fairies seems to have evolved from European folklore. Back then they were angels banished to Earth for staying neutral during Satan's rebellion and a lot more malicious that they are today- you'd be amazed how many folk tales involve them abducting people. As time went on, however, they became more benign until they became the tooth-collecting, wish-granting nature spirits they are today.
Now, when I say that there are people who believe in fairies, your mind automatically goes to small children. How about a grown woman with a PhD?
Wait, there are adults that believe in fairies?
Yes.
Once more I have delved into the deepest canyons of stupid on the plains of the internet. Seriously, just google "fairies are real" and you'll see what I'm talking about. There are 140 submissions to an experience project community called "I Believe in Fairies and Magic". Now, I'm a little sceptical of just how much posts to the experience project actually reflect the lives and beliefs of the writers, especially in this case since the thumbnail picture for their page is literally the photograph at the start of this article. However, even if the whole thing is a joke, with 140 stories, at least one person is probably serious.
Anywhere you go, there are people willing to claim they have encountered real fairies, including an unemployed Mexican fruit picker who has an obviously fake dead fairy preserved in fomaldehyde.
It would take months to trawl through every single page on the internet related to fairies, and I do need to sleep at some point, so I'm going to look at various essays and webpages by people explaining what fairies are and how they work.
As usual, there are various theories with a few overarching themes- fairies are hard to spot and are tied to nature, everything else is mutable. There are essays and whole websites created by people who claim personal interaction and deep knowledge of the Fair Folk. Among them is Dr. Wendy Lockwood, PhD- founder of the Web of Light Mystery School, although I can't find any more information about her, so I have no idea what her degree is in or where it comes from. She has also claimed that she met her dead sister reincarnated as a chinese child, and that all planets and moons are hollow.
Some claim that fairies are earthbound, others that they inhabit a dimension separate from, but connected to ours. Some say they're angels, some say they're nature spirits, and some say that they're reincarnated humans, but all agree that they're a race of magical beings that live separate from us. They seem to be divided up into nature spirits and elementals- elementals are evil and spirits are good. They make up what Dr Lockwood describes as the "approximately 100% of life" that we cannot perceive or understand.
Elementals are earthbound demons that were summoned by dark magicians and lost control- they apparently possess people via the pineal gland (which exists), and the mystic third eye (which does not). For reference, the pineal gland apparently plays a role in sleep patterns and puberty, but is located deep in the brain, so various mystics and philosophers have ascribed deeper spiritual significance to it.
Nature spirits, on the other hand, are the guardians of nature and apparently closer to what we think of as fairies. They possess free will and personalities of their own, but are mostly benevolent. They judge people based on their respect for nature and may punish those who abuse it. Nature spirits vary in size from one to four feet in height and can be divided into subspecies- most theorists divide them into the standard elves, pixies, etc., I have even heard tell of unicorns. Dr Lockwood has taken the more egalitarian route of using examples from other cultures, such as water spirits known as Udines, and their opposite numbers, the Salamanders, without who combustion would not be possible
Fairies can apparently assume human form but are in actuality amorphous clouds of energy. They can manipulate the classical four elements and some of them possess magical powers. Some of them carry wands.
Anywhere you go, there are people willing to claim they have encountered real fairies, including an unemployed Mexican fruit picker who has an obviously fake dead fairy preserved in fomaldehyde.
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| Yes, this looks totally legit. |
As usual, there are various theories with a few overarching themes- fairies are hard to spot and are tied to nature, everything else is mutable. There are essays and whole websites created by people who claim personal interaction and deep knowledge of the Fair Folk. Among them is Dr. Wendy Lockwood, PhD- founder of the Web of Light Mystery School, although I can't find any more information about her, so I have no idea what her degree is in or where it comes from. She has also claimed that she met her dead sister reincarnated as a chinese child, and that all planets and moons are hollow.
Some claim that fairies are earthbound, others that they inhabit a dimension separate from, but connected to ours. Some say they're angels, some say they're nature spirits, and some say that they're reincarnated humans, but all agree that they're a race of magical beings that live separate from us. They seem to be divided up into nature spirits and elementals- elementals are evil and spirits are good. They make up what Dr Lockwood describes as the "approximately 100% of life" that we cannot perceive or understand.
Elementals are earthbound demons that were summoned by dark magicians and lost control- they apparently possess people via the pineal gland (which exists), and the mystic third eye (which does not). For reference, the pineal gland apparently plays a role in sleep patterns and puberty, but is located deep in the brain, so various mystics and philosophers have ascribed deeper spiritual significance to it.
Nature spirits, on the other hand, are the guardians of nature and apparently closer to what we think of as fairies. They possess free will and personalities of their own, but are mostly benevolent. They judge people based on their respect for nature and may punish those who abuse it. Nature spirits vary in size from one to four feet in height and can be divided into subspecies- most theorists divide them into the standard elves, pixies, etc., I have even heard tell of unicorns. Dr Lockwood has taken the more egalitarian route of using examples from other cultures, such as water spirits known as Udines, and their opposite numbers, the Salamanders, without who combustion would not be possible
Fairies can apparently assume human form but are in actuality amorphous clouds of energy. They can manipulate the classical four elements and some of them possess magical powers. Some of them carry wands.
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| Ah, Clip Art, never change |
Conclusion
People who believe in fairies are delusional hippy freaks, but in the end they're fairly harmless, in fact, if more people believed that nature and the environment did have mystical protectors, maybe the world would be in a better shape today. I don't know. Maybe there's just not enough wonder in the world.
If you want to know why I'm being so calm about these people, there's a number of reasons: when I was younger I enjoyed reading old myths, legends and folklore, including the fairies, and maybe reading about it brought some of that back; most of these people seem like they'd be okay people- as opposed to the raving loonies and self-harming fetishists that we've seen so far; and of course, there's the topic of the next in this little series- the despicable scam that is psychic surgery.
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